my testimony part 10

This is where the story gets weird. Hold onto your hats, folks. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. 

Remember I had just gotten married at the end of February 2013. But I was still into mysticism, doing psychic readings snd dabbling in Wicca  and anything esoteric I could find. Nothing was off limits anymore. I used to have talking to the dead being off limits but not anymore , not since I threw out the Bible.

I got deeper and deeper into tarot and even began to do it professionally. This went on for a number of years. Many of my predictions were dead accurate (because of familiar spirits).  The people I believed I was helping sent me referrals and I did readings for rich, famous and important people. 

All the while I was insisting I was serving God. I really believed that with all of my heart. Maybe thats why God saw fit to save me from all of this. 

Satan has slowly whittled away my faith to the point where I no longer believed Jesus was the son of God. I didn't believe the Bible anymore, and I finally had became convinced in evolution and reincarnation. I even believed the universe was alive and that IT was God. 

I was meditating and speaking to my “spirit guides” and doing what they told me to do. 

I was smoking weed nightly along with my husband, who was an ex hippie and a total pothead. I never believed it was ok to do drugs but over time he wore me down and I eventually gave in to keep the peace. 

About two months after we got married, I had a three night period where I was up all night "receiving messages" from "the universe".  I prayed for God to show up and he did - but he didn't look like I expected. 

      He was terrifying. I was meditating and saw a huge black Rams' head with gigantic horns and rotating yellow eyes. His head was huge, as big as a house. I saw the muscles in his jaw move and it was clear that it was alive. 

     We had a conversation. He commanded me to speak out loud, and he told me to swear loyalty to him. I did. 

I asked him why he looked like he did and he said “why do you look like you do?” at the time I couldn’t answer. Of course now I know that was Satan himself, and he really does wander around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. I SAW him doing it. But at the time I was so utterly deceived I thought it was God. 

After that, something strange happened. In retrospect I know that I was possessed by a demon, perhaps more than one. I was possessed, not demonized, which are two different things. I literally couldn’t see or hear things clearly, it was like being underwater. 

I also felt a weird & uncomfortable burning sensation in my forehead. I believed that my third eye was open (I had been working towards that and was very deeply into eastern mysticism practices). I believe now that that third eye being open is the mark of the devil. Who, not surprisingly, appears as an angel of light. 

      This demon tried to kill me twice, once by trying to get me to stand in the middle of a road, and another by trying to get me to throw myself off a cliff. You see this spirit had convinced me because of my background and the Masonic nonsense that i had been ingesting that somehow I was the messiah. And that i must suffer and die. 

Remember the childhood story i told you at the beginning? About the angel rescuing me? now I understand this was satans master plan all along. to possess me and kill me. And he convinced me to use my guardian angel to help me when I was young so that I couldn’t use him again as an adult. Evidently there are rules angels must follow. 

Back to the story. The day I was possessed- 

I was doing strange things all that day. Thankfully it was only for one full 24 hour day. I would not relive it for the world

The demon had me sorting through my kids toys and eliminating anything “unclean”. like pigs, or anything red, or anything with an odd number. really weird stuff that I think maybe meant it was a demon of legalism. 

But I also believe I had a demon of antichrist because the spirit guided is listened to had made me believe I was the messiah. Yes, I was that prideful and that obsessed with mysticism I somehow  became convinced that I was the chosen one. I think it had to do with the masonry because Buddy kept saying i was Mary Magdalene reincarnated. 

Whenever anyone says “I’m the chosen one” now, I immediately know they’re possessed of a spirit. and not just any spirit. an antichrist spirit. 

and of course there were demons of witchcraft. lust. jezebel. Lord knows what else. Like I  said, I had many spirit guides and they presented themselves to me like a mirror with many cracks in it and each one was a reflection of myself. (sounds like a “personality disorder” doesn’t it? that’s because those people are possessed.) 

Of course they were demons, not myself. But wiccans are taught that your spirit guides are really “your higher self.” I believed them. 

I know this wasn’t a hallucination brought on by pot, because this demon spoke through me in a voice not my own, spoke about me in the third person, and commanded my husband to bow to me and worship me. Which, I was horrified to see, he did. 

 My husband saw all this and was worried at the time, and my best friend Erin saw it too and later told me they were considering having me committed. My ex husband was there too visiting my daughter and he saw everything as well. 

      God had tried to reach me several times that day too but I was too blind to understand. 

One thing He did was after the visit from Satan, God showed me in my

mind a painting I’d had hanging in my house as a kid of the last supper. This painting is by salvador Dali and shows God the father without a head. It’s at the beginning of this section. 

I asked “God, why can’t I see your face?” And He responded “no one can see my face and live.” 

Talk about a broad hint. I’d seen Satan as the traditional black rams head and God was hinting that wasn’t Him (remember I thought I was helping God out and doing the right thing by being a psychic) but my mind was so clouded and blinded by witchcraft that I couldn’t see. 

I also “saw” silhouettes of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and God the father and heard them talking to each other (the only one I saw kind of clearly was Jesus.) they spoke to each other and asked each other “what shall we do about Kathryn?”

“Let us use the son whom she loves to reach her”

A little later my four year old son Danny who was then the light of my life came and handed me a heart shaped balloon. He said “hold onto this mommy and don’t let go.”

I still have that balloon. That was God reaching out to me. I didn’t understand what I was seeing in that vision or what I was hearing but it helped me later. 

Well after the demon demanded my husband bow to me, AND HE DID, 

I cried out to God. I knew something was very wrong but I was too confused to understand what was going on.

So I asked what was going on. 

 And I heard the Holy Spirit whisper "witchcraft."

At first I thought he meant my babysitter who was an outright witch. 

And God said “NO. ITS YOU.”

     I had a huge epiphany then, repented, and immediately got rid of all my esoteric books & paraphernalia. 

It filled an industrial sized trash can. 

I was completely delivered. I never looked back. 

God did speak to me after that and told me I had to choose - what God was I going to serve now?

I remembered the “vision” where I saw the silhouettes of The trinity (which at the time I hadn’t believed in anymore)

And I chose Jesus. 

God told me then that the Bible really was his word and I could trust it. 

I  got a bible and began reading it and praying immediately. 

It "just so happened" that this occurred on Good Friday. 

     That Sunday (Easter) the Lord told me to go to church. So I looked up a Calvary chapel - and I "just so happened" to pick the one in Las Vegas run by pastor John Knapp. Which changed my life entirely. 

     I finally had my own born again experience. Jesus said unless a man be born again he cannot see the kingdom of God. I had grown up in the church and knew all the "right" things to say and do, I knew the scripture too, I had said the sinners prayer, but I hadn't repented - turned - from my sin. 

That was my born-again experience, which I had never had before. Growing up in a church will not give you a born again repentance experience. Only God can do that. 

     Jesus saved me that day. 

     Praise Jesus! 

     I continued to go to church and began witnessing to my husband. 

       My behavior changed immediately. I quit smoking pot, and I stopped wearing revealing clothing. And my eyes began to be opened about a lot of things. I dug into my bible and listened without distraction for the first time in church. I began to develop a consistent devotional and prayer life too. 

After that it was a slow recovery.  The feeling on my forehead took several weeks or more to go away. I kept having to repent of things as they came up. 

I kept reading my bible and praying. I gave up meditation. 

And at the lords prompting, I began attending church regularly again. 

I do really believe that church was what healed my mind from mysticism. Or rather, hearing ALL of Gods word in a church that systematically preached the Bible. 

I had never had that before, despite growing up “in church.”  Also it was really important that the people in the church practiced what they preach and aren’t hypocrites. This was also the first church i’d attended where most of the people seemed to be for real. 

I got re-baptized at the Lords prompting. 

 and then  five months later in September 2013 Buddy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. 

Gods timing as always was perfect.