my testimony, part 9

 After spending some time alone, I decided to go to a caricaturists conference, where I met my second husband, Buddy Rose. Buddy was much older than me, had a very forceful personality,  and lived in Las Vegas. 

I’m using his real name because he’s a real person, who really lived, and I don’t think he’d mind. Since he’s since passed away, there’s no identity to protect  

Buddy was “the grandfather of caricature,” a larger than life Texan who started the national caricaturists’ network (now the ISCA) by the sheer force of his will, which was considerable   

He was a pot smoking, cartoon-drawing old hippie who might remind you of Yosemite Sam. His sons used to call him four feet of fury. 

Buddy was the only person I think in my whole life who gave me a run for my money and gave me back as good as I gave. I don’t know how I come across in my writing, but I can be a loud-mouthed, stubborn Philly girl (Philadelphians are kind of like New Yorkers but with a better sense of humor), who always thinks she’s right and puts people in their place with her acid tongue. This was me before Jesus really got ahold of me. I hope i’m not quite so bad as I used to be. 🙏🏻😊

I had some serious lessons to learn in submission and humility, and God knew that Buddy Rose was the only one for the job  

After dating long distance for a short time, Buddy convinced me to come to Las Vegas. 

Me? In Las Vegas? Never! But that's where I wound up for nine years in my own personal literal desert experience. Boy did I hate it there, at least at first.  As I mentioned I’m a nature girl. You know that vegas is smack in the middle of the desert, right? Five hours from any water in any direction. Which is my own personal definition of hell. 

Despite my convictions, Buddy also convinced me to move in with him. I was against it but he wore me down, which pretty much encapsulates most of our relationship. 

 Buddy was a mason. You’d think the light bulb would’ve gone off about that from the deliverance minister some ten or more years before, but it didn’t. 

He also had many strange beliefs. Soon my belief in the Bible began to erode. I got more and more into mysticism with his encouragement, learned all about palm reading and anything else esoteric (hidden wisdom) I could find, all the while thinking I was helping God out, using my "God-given talents." How prideful I was! I still struggle with pride now. 

Buddy was an entertainment agent and got me caricature gigs as well as tarot card reading gigs. He encouraged me with the esoteric studies and he read tarot cards himself. He considered himself a sort of a prophet. I think he did have a prophetic gifting from God, same as I did, which we were both born with,  but when you take God out if it and try to do it yourself, what you get is witchcraft. I didn’t understand that then but I sure do now. 

Buddy told me all about masonry which he wasn’t supposed to do but he did anyway. Trust me when I tell you that Masons are NOT christians. They worship John the Baptist’s severed head and call it after a demon which i will not mention. So nope. No Christianity there, no matter how “good” they pretend to be. Even satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 

 My life with Buddy in Las Vegas over the next five years was a train wreck. 

There were  Horrible Fights with Buddy, 

With several attempts to move across the country back to Philly, but I kept ending up back in Vegas.  I had one baby with him, and then another. 

There was more drama than I'd ever had in my whole entire life during that time, culminating with Buddy kidnapping my infant son Daniel, born in 2008, and bringing him across the country to Las Vegas. 

I tried to get my baby back through legal channels but hadn’t a lot of money and certainly had no “luck.” (which I no longer believe in.)

In the meantime, in an attempt to do the right thing, I had tried to get back together with my ex husband “charlie” but I just couldn’t. My heart wasn’t in it. Now I understand that’s actually unbiblical. 

There was a lawsuit that we ended up dropping and lots of threats, nasty emails back snd forth, and taking my infant son Daniel back and forth across the country every other month. I was pregnant with my next son Matthew during all of this. It was a complete and utter nightmare that I would rather forget. 

This was all part of the crazy tornado that happened when I decided to do things my way instead of Gods' way. And all the while I got deeper and deeper into mysticism. 

Like I said I also had another baby, Matthew in 2010. And about six months later is when Buddy finally wore me down. I dropped the lawsuit, moved back to vegas with all three kids and gave in to his demands. I told him it wouldn’t work but he wouldn’t listen. 

All we did was fight for several years. I was completely miserable. 

I was a stay at home mom and I also did caricature and psychic gigs on the side. But mostly I was home with the kids. 

I didn’t believe in fighting in front of the children - my parents had never done that - but Buddy didn’t seem to care. I felt like I was failing my kids. 

I remember fighting so badly one night that I sat outside on the back porch crying out to Gid for help. I didn’t want to go crawling back to everyone and hear I told you so, or see their pity. I couldn’t stand it. not just my parents but my best friend Erin who was one of the girls in the group home who had latched herself onto me some years before. 

So I made up my own very strong-willed mind that I was going to figure out how to make this work.

 I asked God for help and despite still living together He heard me, and reminded me of some marriage saving books I’d read before. I re-read them and began putting them into practice. 

The books are “Love Busters” and “His needs, Her needs” both by William F harley Jr and though they aren’t christian per se I found them helpful. Upon rereading some of the material recently, I don’t find them to be humanistic or full of mysticism, but about the truth that if your marriage is in trouble you have a part in it, and if you fix your part it can save your marriage. 

  

So like I said I began the process of learning some humility and stopped trying to be the boss and be right all the time. I tried to show Buddy more respect, and I refused to fight but just closed my mouth unless it was really important. Those argumentative traits by the way i believe i picked up from Erin.

She had moved to be near me because her marriage was on the rocks. this wasn’t the first time that had happened either. she also came and lived with me when i was in detroit. I look back now and realize that was Satan sending in an emissary to make matters worse. 

But instead of copying Erin, I listened to the advice in the books snd I humbled myself. 

This had an astonishing effect on our relationship. Within just a few weeks we were no longer at each others throats. He reciprocated the kindness I was showing him and our relationship completely turned around. 

He still smoked pot and I still didn’t like it but I stopped fighting about it. In fact I think this was probably around the time when I gave in and started doing it with him. 

We both were still into mysticism. But slowly God was getting ahold of us. He knew what we needed in what order and evidently the first thing we needed was unity. 

On February 28, 2013, Buddy and I finally got married. The Holy Spirit had been whispering for us to do it - we both knew it - and life was blessed for a time. I had finally obeyed God in something major. The fighting completely stopped. I had been convinced by Buddy that marriage is just a piece of paper but we learned firsthand it was not. It is a commitment and with that comes unity that only God can create. 

We were in the honeymoon phase. 

It was shortly after this that things came to a head for me with the mysticism.